Tag: Mindful thinking

Guilt

Guilt is something that I feel like I could’ve had a Ph.D in. I was constantly feeling guilty for my actions in my everyday life. I have since learned to let go of my guilt. I accept what has happened, learn and grow from said thing, and let go of my thoughts and perceptions that are making feel this way. It’s much easier said than done but anything that is worth doing is never easy.

Most people get stuck in guilt for years or even their whole lifetime. It interrupts their daily lives without them even realizing it’s happening. They can’t sleep at night because they are constantly going over conversations in their head, replaying things moment by moment, reliving it in their minds while playing different scenarios of what could’ve happened; they are doing anything but accepting the situation and moving on.

I was this person for years. It nearly destroyed my life. It showed up in ways that most people wouldn’t assume is guilt, and only through working on myself have I discovered that I think guilt was one of the root causes of majority of my problems. Yes I had other problems like my face going numb, migraines, sleeping problems, drinking and drug problems…the list goes on. But I had those problems because of guilt I hadn’t yet realized I was carrying around with me.

Guilt has been something that’s been present in me my whole life, just as it is almost everyone. We our taught from an early age that guilt is okay and it’s okay to guilt others. This needs to stop. We are taught this as children by the adults in our lives who guilt us into doing things for them or for some reason. Some examples may include “eat all of your dinner, there are kids starving in Africa” “what’s wrong with you” “your being to sensitive” ” I do everything for you” “you did great on your test, why can’t you do that all the time” “stop crying right now or you won’t get….” “It’s not that big of a deal” “can you do this for me? fine I’ll just have to do it myself”

These all are examples of guilt. We are shown and taught from our adolescent years that it is okay to be guilted into something and that it is also okay to guilt others. This is something we really need to work on as adults who have influence over smaller children. Even if you don’t have children of your own, the way you talk to any child or adult matters. Your words affect other people who aren’t conscious of the fact that your words are only an opinion and nothing more.

It’s a vicious cycle in our minds that we need to learn to get control over. Another example of guilt that you can put on yourself without realizing is by comparing yourself to others. You feel guilty that your not like this person, guilt that you make the wrong decisions, guilt that you didn’t have control over a situation. We even feel guilt when someone passes away, as if we had control over it.

What we have control over is our actions and our thoughts. If you feel guilty about the mistake you made, evaluate why you made the decision you did that led to your mistake, forgive yourself for making the mistake and know that in the future you will make a conscious decision to make better decisions that you feel good about. It’s all about your thoughts and how you perceive a situation. If you know that each thing that comes at you in life is a lesson that you can grow from; you reframe the way you talk to yourself, your decision making, how you perceive life and the opportunities that come your way.

Everything in life is an opportunity, you just need to figure out what it is that life has brought you and how you are going to react.

With love, Krista

What I’ve learned through 7 days of meditation

Today is day 7 of me actually sitting down to meditate. I’ve done 10 sessions over the last 7 days totaling to 140 minutes or 2 hours and 20 minutes. They ranged from breathing meditations, to laying down meditations and the last 2 days I’ve been doing manifestation meditations.

I have been trying to “meditate” going on two years now. Every therapy session I’d have, my therapist, always told me that was my next step to finding my peace and I continued to push it off. We even had one session where she insisted we sit and mediate to which I responded something along the lines of ” No offense, but I’m paying you to listen to me, not sit in silence”. Well we sat there for 5 minutes anyway and even in those short 5 minutes I could feel the relaxation come over me. That was 3 months ago. And every single therapy sessions she tells me ” Just do it” as if it were that simple, but really, I learned it is.

I have spent a lot money and time over the last 2 years on preparing myself for meditation. I’ve spent money on different meditation apps, salt lamps, I even bought a crystal to hold during mediation, though I couldn’t even tell you the name of the crystal, I choose my apartment a year and half ago due to nook that I believed would be the perfect meditation spot, I created said meditation spot in my apartment nook that just created wasted space because I wasn’t using it, I bought special pillows to sit on, I did everything you could possibly do to avoid doing the actual meditation.

Well I decided my therapist was right and I needed to “just do it”. In the last two weeks I have ended a toxic relationship, had a friend try to take advantage of me and I felt very hopeless and weak. This was the time to “Just do it”. I started with 10 minutes the first 3 days and noticed that by the time I was starting to feel very relaxed and connected , the mediation would end. So I am making an effort and making sure I have 20 minutes in my morning to sit and meditate. I’ve noticed with doing these meditations how in touch with myself I have become in just a few short days. I started a blog I’ve been dreaming about for over 2 years and I started a new company that I’ve been trying to put together in my mind for the last 2 years as well. All in the matter of 7 days. I own 2 websites now and hopefully a company ( I’m waiting to hear back from the state). I have a detailed plan of what I want my business to be and represent and I have no doubt I will achieve this. I found Wayne Dyer this week whose words have already transformed my life and will continue to help and inspire me on this journey

Everyday with meditation, I am setting an intention for my day. I have mantra’s I am repeating to myself and affirmations I am vocalizing as well. I’m making a conscious effort to only let the good into my life which means re-framing my mind to do only that. I must be conscious of every thought I let into my mind as it sends a vibration out into the world. I’m making a conscious effort to make a conscious effort to make my life all it is and can be.

Mediation has brought me here to this place today in just a short 7 days. But those 2 hours and 20 minutes that I let my brain relax from needing to have a thought, focused on accepting what came through my mind as well as setting my intentions for my day and life. That is 140 minutes that I didn’t have last week or last month That’s 140 minutes that I focused on myself and wasn’t on social media or watching t.v. Just look at all I’ve accomplished in a week, I think it speaks for itself.

“I am not who I think I am, I am not who you think I am, I am who you think I think I am”

With love,
Krista